Macy's Miracle Story: Part 3 Life at Riley

I heard the phrase back then, and I've seen it with my own two eyes......"New Riley parents have that deer in the headlights look". Jeremy and I had it, and I have since seen many parents with that same look. It's the "what in the world is happening to us look", the "this isn't what we had planned look". Trust me, I had a plan. I had a birth plan, I had a plan for her first outfit, I had a plan for our first night at home. THIS was not part of our plan.

My OB came to discharge me from the hospital on the Monday morning following Macy's birth. His words were, "I am going to tell you to go home, but I know where you are going." Darn right! I headed to the hospital to see my baby! I could barely walk. I know part of the reason was due to my C-section, but some might have been from the fact that I had been in a bed for about 20 days.
Jeremy found a wheelchair and wheeled me to see Macy. She was in a module with 8 other babies. I can't even begin to describe the feeling I had looking at those 8 isolettes lined up with tiny babies in them. One of those babies was ours. We cried as we stood next to that isolette and watched her tiny little body inside. I couldn't believe this was our baby. The cardiologist met with us, and said the most important words I could've ever heard. Words I needed at that very moment. She looked me in the eyes and said, "this is not your fault." I got to touch her that night, although I longed to hold her again.  She was so tiny, and so adorable!
 
I held my baby for the second time the next day.  The nurses wrapped her all up in her blankets and placed her in my eyes. I cried tears of joy. She was so beautiful! She was a fighter!  She was amazing!
 

 

We spent the first few weeks waiting on results from genetic testing, more testing on her heart, and more answers about her overall health. In the meantime, we spent every waking minute at the hospital. I woke up each morning, and my mom drove me to the hospital. It was 35-40 minutes away. She sat with me next to her bed. I read her chart 1,000 times. I stared at her monitor, living my life for each number and beep. We left around lunch time each day so I could eat and rest. Jeremy left work each and every day at lunch. He sat next to her bed, talked to her, and gave up his lunch each day so he could see his baby girl. My mom drove me back each afternoon, dropped me off, and I once again sat with my baby. I watched babies come and go. I watched babies pass away. I watched parents give their baby their last bath, and say goodbye forever. I watched babies in their isolettes for weeks on end with not one visitor. But our sweet girl continued to flourish! 

 
Jeremy returned straight from work each evening. We sat with Macy for a few hours. We got home late each nice to a dinner that my mom had prepared for us. Jeremy's parents sat with her after that until bedtime each day. I called the NICU each night before I went to bed. They updated us on Macy. I hung up the phone each and every night crying. I cried myself to sleep each night. This poor sweet girl, this fighter, this amazing baby sent from heaven....she amazed me!

Macy was on oxygen, but no vent. She never needed a vent! She was slowly eating through an NG tube (through her nose), and at times trying a bottle.  She was doing pretty good overall. She continued to amaze everyone with her determination! She was tiny but mighty!

 

This was our life at Riley. Our schedule continued like this for about 3 weeks. They came to us and said... you're sweet girl is doing great!  She is ready for a step down unit. They wanted to transfer her to the hospital down the street.  We would be going to the IU Hospital Special Care Nursery.  We were one step closer to going home. Little did we know, home was not so near.

Check back for Part 4: The Unexpected